Signs of Progress: How to Recognize Growth in Therapy

Inspired by a client who asked to meet with me a day earlier than her scheduled appointment, I found myself reflecting on how progress in therapy often looks different than expected. This client, like many of the clients whom I regularly see, is a go-getter who prides herself on figuring things out and not needing help. (Does this sound like you?) She is the type of client where, if I had told her, "Sorry, I’m not available this week at our regular session time," she would have responded, "Oh, that’s totally fine, not a big deal! I’ll see you next week!" But this time, instead of gritting her teeth and waiting until her scheduled appointment the following day, she reached out and said, "Hey, do you actually have anything today? I've got a lot going on that I want to process." She was able to recognize her own need for a little extra support, acknowledge that she was deserving of that support, trust our therapeutic relationship enough to know that I could offer that support, and reach out to ask for it. That simple act—asking for help—was enormous. It was progress.

In therapy, it’s often those unremarkable moments that demonstrate the most meaningful growth. Many clients come in with big, tangible goals—finding a new job, improving relationships, or even losing 20 pounds. Others arrive with more nebulous desires, like "being happier." But the path to progress is rarely linear, and sometimes the destination changes entirely.

Take the client who initially set a goal of changing jobs. Through therapy, they uncovered a long-standing pattern of running when things got tough. We spent a long time exploring their history of running when times get hard, the origins of that behavior, and how to tolerate feeling overwhelmed without instantly jumping into fight-or-flight mode. Instead of jumping ship at the first sign of distress, this client learned to tolerate discomfort, build distress tolerance skills, and sit with uncertainty. Someone from the outside might say, "They’re still in the same job; have they really progressed?" But I see it differently—this client didn’t need a new job. They needed to break the cycle of avoidance, and they did.

Or consider the client who came to therapy wanting to lose 20 pounds so that they could "finally feel confident." (Does this sound like you?) As we explored their history, it became clear that their goal wasn’t really about weight—it was about healing decades of body shame and childhood trauma. Over time, they stopped weighing themselves daily, reintroduced foods they had loved as a kid but had been too fearful to keep in their house for fear of bingeing, and allowed themselves pleasure without intense scrutiny or self-policing. They grieved the painful experiences of being judged for their body and learned to practice self-compassion. In the end, they didn’t lose weight—in fact, they gained a little—but they no longer felt imprisoned by their body. Some might see this as failure, but I see a profound victory in their newfound freedom and in their newfound ability to trust their body and their hunger.

Progress isn’t always about achieving the original goal; sometimes, it’s about redefining what success looks like. One client struggling with chronic insomnia once told me, "I realize that since starting therapy, my insomnia hasn’t gotten any better, but I feel less stressed out and anxious at the idea of not getting a good night's sleep. I feel more accepting that sometimes there will be nights that I still struggle with sleep." That statement brought tears to my eyes. The goal wasn’t just better sleep—it was learning to be kinder to themselves when sleep didn’t come.

Cheers to your victories! I will never stop celebrating the small ways that you make changes and show up for yourself. Photo featuring plus-size models by Michael Poley of Poley Creative for AllGo, publisher of free stock photos featuring plus-size people.

As your therapist, I make it a point to notice, name, and celebrate these victories, because so often, my clients don’t see them themselves. It’s easy to overlook the moments where we do something different—something that breaks a long-standing pattern. But those moments are where real change happens. For me, as your cheerleader and co-conspirator in breaking some of these patterns, you may see my eyes fill with tears when you tell me about these little wins, and I often leave our sessions grinning ear-to-ear, so profoundly proud of the ways that you've shown up for yourself.

So the next time you reach out to your therapist for an earlier appointment because you have something important to process, consider that a sign of progress and immense growth. I sure do.

You deserve to be celebrated for the progress that you make. Let me support you in this journey. If you live in Maryland or Virginia and are struggling with making change on your own, you deserve support. Please reach out today to set up a free consultation phone call to discuss if mental health therapy with Brown Dog Therapy and Wellness is right for you.